I keep spiraling back to the power of questions. As I learn, I find more depth and richness to why questions matter, and how to improve this skill.
Questions are key to analytical problem solving (surface assumptions, explore root cause) but also build connection between people and ideas. Powerful questions increase sharing and build respect. Questions allow us to stand next to someone and look out at the horizon together.
To my dismay, cognitively embracing this concept has not meant my behaviors, on their own sweet volition, automatically shift away from telling-professing-instructing to asking-including-exploring. This takes focus, practice and work. Ah, incremental learning.
Today’s leaders must navigate the tension between a traditional leader archetype and the imperative to lead in a highly collaborative world in which they are sharing power, staying open, while thinking ahead. Exploring the power of questions can enable this. How do you get better at good questions? Like everything (broken record, here) it starts with your own self-awareness and some experimentation.
Self awareness begins with identifying the patterns and assumptions that keep you from being a strong question asker. Two are described here, the Teller and the Expert.
The Teller
Are you a teller? I am. To a teller, nothing feels better than standing in front of a group and sharing information. Even if you are a stage-shy teller, you know the joy of sharing a new “you have to use this” ap, or giving information about some subject dear to your heart and entrenched in your knowledge base.
The problem is that telling can be a one-directional flow of information. We are feeding more than sharing. If I reach over to put my fork of delicious stuff in your mouth, you might experience that a little, well, strongly. A good question means that you are sharing a meal together.
The Expert
Often, as business leaders or team members, we are hired for our expertise and our knowledge. Our identity can get tied to this. We sense our value is due to what we know, and so not-knowing (or looking like we don’t know), feels uncomfortable and destabilizing. The problem is this can lead to over-reliance on certainty. Leaders might feel vulnerable when asking a question. This can result in jumping to conclusions before testing assumptions. Good decision making relies on a tolerance for sitting in ambiguity, at least for a bit. A good question surfaces assumptions, clarifies, and leads to better decisions.
How do we break out of these patterns? We experiment. Watch for times to insert open ended questions and invite others in. See what results you get. Note them.
Here are some ideas for structures to try out:
Making it a game:
I was recently working with my senior business students. Instead of thinking of how to create a research plan, we started by thinking about “what are all of the things we wonder about this business problem?” We set a rule: we must ONLY ask questions. The constraints around keeping our brain open longer provided a chance to deep dive. Try it when your team is up against something hairy and unstructured. Encourage the team to turn the subject matter upside down and look at it in different ways- ask a qualitative question (what number would represent success?) find an emotional question (what do we want our customer to feel?), or explore using a metaphor (if we were walking down a road, what is lurking behind the trees?).
Stupid questions:
People say there is no such thing as a stupid question, but there actually is, and they are actually really effective. When folks are zoomed in real narrow, maybe even down in the bug dust, and perhaps going down a rabbit hole, think about altitude. Getting up way high in the clouds and asking a simple “Why are we doing this thing in the first place” can bring people back to the real purpose. Poorly timed it can derail, but at the right moment this type of question can create new awareness and help shift the direction back to north.
Ask a question back (ADVANCED SKILL):
A coaching client might ask me “what do you think?” A business student might ask me, “How do we deal with this client?” It is so easy to answer questions that are squarely in your wheelhouse. It is also easy to answer a question with a question that gives the answer. Example: “What cover should we use for the report” answer: “Do you think it should be the blue one?”
If you are not sure how to ask back, try the helpful crutch “What are your thoughts?” which might evolve to “What factors come to your mind as you make this decision?” Tone matters; feeling open and curious will help your question to land right and not be taken as a challenge. (Recently, I asked a question back to a bewildered student and they stared back at me blankly. I tried another question. This happens...just keep at it.)
When you ask a question back you benefit. Others become part of the solution and invested in the outcome. Others see themselves as capable. They are inclined to contribute more.
Wherever you are in your question asking journey, know that it is a nuanced and lifelong path.